Holistic wellness? Recovery? AHAHAHAA. Ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. It's never going to fucking happen for me. I'm really starting to get convinced of that now. So many things try to derail me, and not all of them succeed, but enough do that I think I am really starting to fall off the wagon, in more ways than one.

Will the wave break? Will there be some kind of tsunami later on? Or will I just be stuck knee-deep in ocean water forever, never knowing when a huge, breath-sucking wave might overtake me?