I've been trying the whole normal eating thing lately -- three balanced meals, plus a snack or two if I need it (usually one at night, and maybe a little tidbit in the afternoon) -- and it's been going surprisingly well. Only problem is that now that I'm finally, actually 100% dedicating myself to REALLY trying to eat normally, I'm getting urges to do other things. More specifically, I keep thinking about cutting, and wanting to go back to cutting, and blah blah blah.

STFU, YOU STUPID BRAIN.

The second I get rid of one bad coping mechanism, you want me to just jump to the next one? Because I'm so fucking pathetic that I can't handle any normal emotions without destroying myself?
Well, guess what. FUCK YOU.
I'm sick of giving into you. I'm sick of causing myself continual pain. I'm sick of listening to you for so long that half the time I just give in to make you stop flooding me with anxiety and depression and fear.

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

I don't want you anymore, so just GO THE FUCK AWAY ALREADY, YOU ASSHOLE.