Last night... I got rid of everything that remained of my binge food. Which was just a really big pack of vanilla and chocolate cookies, and the rest of my molasses Halloween candies, but it was still more than enough to count. I felt too guilty to waste all that stuff, so I put it upstairs on the counter instead -- hopefully some of my family will help me eat it. For I am not going to limit myself from it -- I am just not going to binge on it!
I am tired of bulimia, and right now I really just feel like kicking its motherfucking ass. If I feel guilty about what I'm eating, or am getting full / too full, I am just going to have to STOP FUCKING EATING, instead of resorting to cop-out techniques (aka purging). [Note: I am not saying purging is a cop-out for everyone... I just know that it is for me.] I am going to be responsible for what I eat, and live with the effects of it, instead of just getting rid of it and hurting my body and making myself feel like shit.
I am tired of being controlled by my impulses to overeat.
Bring on normal eating, bitchezzzz.
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Hey Niika, don't feel so bad, you'll make it in the end. Kudos for going on recovery! My height is exactly the same as yours, so I know that gaining a teeny bit of weight shows a lot on a short frame. It's not fair, isn't it? We can't be like taller people who can say that they 'carry it well'. Oh well, stay strong babe!
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