I have realized... that I still think extreme thinspo, or at least a lot of it, is beautiful. I still think bones are beautiful. I know, beyond a doubt, that many of the girls in the pictures that I have been looking at were sicker than sick, and I've been sick myself, and I'd never wish that on anybody. I also don't think super skinny is the only kind of beauty out there. But I still can't help thinking that extreme skinny is, nonetheless, so very delicate and fragile and lovely.
Maybe I am still sick, at that. For still thinking things like this. For wishing, even among my opportunities and chances to grow and change and become better as a person, that I could go back to my old smaller body. For wishing that I had the liberty to starve myself down to that delicate and fragile weight. For wishing I could be the one taking these pictures, only of my own self.
I don't really know what to think of my own head, sometimes.
3 comments:
I only got high twice, and only truly "smoked" once. I really doubt I am going to get addicted to it, mostly because it doesn't actually alter MOOD... it just makes my muscles go slack, and me almost fall asleep as I melt into chairs/couches/etc. It's nice, but not nice enough to get addicted to the sensation. I could get the same sort of relaxation from a lot of Advil. You know?
Well, I'm sure I won't have much opportunity to see them in any event, but thanks for your concern, I guess?
I think bones are beautiful too, and no one gets that. I love clavicles and hip bones.
Just found your blog and look forward to reading more.
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