Was 116.8 yesterday, which makes for a total of 0.6 lbs lost in 6 days. I guess it could be worse... I could have gained, or even maintained. But it's still not all that great. I should be losing more. Maybe I will, if I can actually stick to my diet.

One major wrench in my plans is going to be work. Some days I take my food, and that's fine; I know how many cals is in it, I'm comfortable with eating it, etc. I can make it look pretty normal (sandwich, a side, and some diet soda). Nobody at work would have any idea that I've eaten like 600 cals that day. However, when I don't bring supper, and I get a veggie burger or whatnot, I always seem to have a side with it, and if we don't have salad (like we didn't one day, and I thought we didn't yesterday) it gets dicey, because then I want fries, which are like 260 cals just for a small, not including the ketchup. And since the burger itself is like 400-450 cals... well, it's just too much for one meal. Yet I HAVE to have the side. It's stupid, I know, but mentally I can't get around it at this point. So I'm going to have to bring my lunch more often, or go somewhere else on days I don't bring anything, like maybe to Tims. The low-fat blueberry muffin is only 290, so that and a coffee or diet soda would be okay for break. Hopefully we won't be out of salads on certain days, so it won't be a problem to just get the salad for my side instead (comes to about 100 cals including dressing).

That way what happened yesterday won't happen again. Yesterday I ended up having the fries with the burger, then thinking about how many cals I'd eaten in total that day, which was DEFINITELY too much, and then I ended up purging in the employee washrooms. Luckily there are only two stalls, and generally it's pretty private, or people leave quickly... but still. I would really rather not be purging at work. Especially since the bathrooms are so disgusting there.

This is the sort of planning that always goes into restriction for me. I think about and weigh all possible food options for every meal and/or "snack". I plan things like "Okay, only coffee for 'breakfast', normal-looking break (but it should only be 300-400 calories max if you can help it, and no onion rings, no larger fries, no ice cream, no anything higher cal as a side), then don't eat when you get home, or if you do make it a b/p so you don't absorb much, if anything". I dunno. It seems normal to me when in restriction mode, but I know it's not "normal". Not like I care either way. I kind of hate that I have to do it (or at least I really hated it at first; I'm getting used to it now), but I have to do it, so I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. You know?

Dum dum dum.