Yet Another New Scale

So tonight I realized I had enough money to buy a new scale… and 20 minutes later I was walking to the bus stop, despite the really crappy weather we’re having tonight. I bought another Weight Watchers one because, although I really HATE supporting a diet corporation in any way, I needed an accurate scale, and at Walmart the Weight Watchers scales are by far the best. (The rest of them are pieces of shit.) There were two models — one that looked like my last one, the scale I destroyed by bow and arrow fire, and then a sleek looking, slightly smaller footspace-wise, black one. I decided to get the black one because, well, it looked cool, it was the same company, and, hey, change is good, right?

Turns out the scale is absolutely FREEZING to step on with my bare feet… maybe it’ll be better tomorrow after it’s spent the night in a warm cupboard. But anyway, after one weight of 102.7, I stepped on it again and it read 101.1. Then I groaned to myself and thought, “Oh, shit, did I just buy a dud?” But… apparently not. It kept reading 101.1 every time after that… three times in a row, and then I moved it from the living room to the kitchen and stepped on it again. Still 101.1.

Once I realized that number might actually be true, I thought, “What the actual fuck? I can’t possibly weigh that little.” And I still don’t see it at all. Like, not at ALL. I feel that I look to be at least 105. My hipbones are a little visible, but not THAT much, and my belly still sticks out, and I still have massive boobs. How the bloody HELL can I be 101.1? It’s a complete mindfuck. I honestly, truly do not understand how I could possibly weigh that little. It makes me think the scale must be lying.

But I have time yet to get used to the new scale, break it in, see if it’s trustworthy… so we’ll figure out in time if it’s actually accurate. I can’t even imagine how my weight could be lower tomorrow morning, but usually that is the pattern; no matter how much of my fluids I’ve peed out during the day, and no matter how little I’ve eaten, I usually still weigh more at night than in the morning. Again, we’ll see… I just… I don’t know. I am truly, seriously mindfucked at this moment.

On another note entirely, we’re having our first real snowfall of the year, and shit keeps creaking and groaning above me… and I’m not sure the person who lives upstairs is even home. So this, of course, makes me very very scared. I’m sitting here afraid the house is gonna collapse on me or something. I’ve literally NEVER heard sounds like that from upstairs before — not even during the bad hurricane we got this year. Creeeeeepy….

Anyway, that’s all I really wanted to say. Long story short: I am mindfucked. Really truly. And as a result, I am also very very confused. HOW IN ACTUAL HELL IS THIS EVEN REMOTELY POSSIBLE.