Yesterday, after lots of BMs from lax, my weight was 95.4; today it's back up to 96.2. Still, though, I have lost weight overall, so I'm not extremely dissatisfied.

Last night was difficult, though... I went to my parents' house for supper. They had veggie lasagna (which is just about the only dish they ever make for me now that I'm a vegetarian) and salad, so it really shouldn't have been that bad, but... that lasagna was SO hard. I really just didn't want to eat any of it, but I knew I had to eat some of it, so I took a small square and ate maybe 2/3rds of the portion. I took lots of garden salad and put ranch on it, though, and I ate all my salad, so it probably looked like I ate slightly more than I "really" did. I managed to eat enough to please them (or at least not make a fuss), but it was surprisingly torturous just putting food to mouth. In the past, I've always been able to decide to eat during a family meal, while on an outing, etc, and it hasn't traditionally been difficult... it's strange to find it's not so easy to just push aside ED anymore. I even took Ativan last night to make sure I didn't freak out about the lasagna I ate. That's fairly pathetic, but oh well.

I meant to write about other things, but I don't really feel like it anymore. Maybe later on.

Everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner