so completely dissociative and mentally fucked right now.

but i can’t say i mind it. in fact, it’s preferable to my normal states, which include feeling like shit, feeling sad, being incredibly angry, lashing out at my friends, and being really fucking suicidal. i mean, compared to any one of those things, dissociation is GREAT.

it’s like i’m flying on a fucking cloud of emptiness, and i’m so happy to just be able to relax there and drift around like some drunken idiot. i swerve and dip and dive all over the place but i’m not even THERE, i’m just floating, up in space, brain mostly gone