So apparently my psychiatrist thinks I should still be on medication, because he says I still show some depressive symptoms.
But what he actually said was, "I think you should be on medications, but I'm not going to put you on any."
I... don't understand?
Maybe he thinks they might put me on something at Homewood. Maybe he thinks the eating disorder is adding to the depression and is not sure what treatment will do to aid (or make worse) that depression. Maybe he's just afraid I'll try to OD on the medications yet again.
I dunno. All I know is that he didn't prescribe anything -- for which I'm glad, because I didn't want to take anything anyway.
Personally, I don't think I even have a sort of depression that's fixable with medications.
He did also say something about me needing therapy stuff more than medications. Well, I agree with him... but what therapy, exactly, is available that will actually help? He tried to tell me I should be doing CBT. I told him that didn't work for me, and tried to explain why, but I don't think he really got it. I didn't really expect him to. He's too "rational" for that. By which I mean... well, he's not exactly a touchy-feely sort of psychiatrist. He's pretty decent at prescribing meds (and being minimalist about it, at least in my case), but you can tell he doesn't exactly hold so much with the more introspective psychotherapies. "CBT works" is what he told me. To which I snorted in my head but said not much, because I don't know how to explain it to make him understand that, actually, no... for me, CBT doesn't work. It just doesn't.
No matter. I'll see my current therapist until I go to Homewood, and while I'm at Homewood I'll see if they can arrange it so that I'll have a different, and hopefully better, therapist when I go back. And by "better" I just mean one who does a therapy that is not CBT. I'm too afraid of unintentionally offending my current T by asking her to refer me to somebody new... which sounds pathetic and wimpy, I know. But I guess I am both.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment