I'm tired of having all the eating disordered thoughts, but almost none of the behaviors.
Ideally, I'd get rid of all the thoughts; but, of course, this is not an ideal world in which we live.

So, day by day, I remain in limbo: wanting the behaviors, not participating in them, hating myself, participating for awhile, getting sick of it, stopping, and then wanting the behaviors all over again. Vicious circle... annoying circle.
I wish somebody could make this see-saw balance.

On a not-so-unrelated note: I really need to start exercising more. Maybe swimming? Lane swims perhaps? That would get me in shape a bit, wouldn't it?