Well, I should probably update, since I didn't exactly leave you all with a great post last time. The reason you haven't seen many posts by me over the last couple of weeks, if anybody was wondering, is because I've been in Florida. Where I actually had a pretty good time for the most part, by the way. I have, however, noticed that when I get tired, I get a hundred times more depressed and despairing and hopeless -- a circumstance I have yet to figure out the exact reasons for. Anyway, after I'd had some decent sleep, I got up feeling substantially better. Even if I hadn't, though, I'd be fighting those sorts of feelings, or at least acting on them, with everything I had. I'm determined not to let the suicide ideation stuff come back and/or take over my life. I really really want to be done with that. I wasted enough time trying to die; now I want to try to live. If that's even possible.

As for food... well, the truth is, I actually don't want to talk about how I'm eating right now. Asking me about it will be futile, as I will refuse to tell you.

Uhh... I guess that's all, really. I'm alive and doing okay and starting work on Monday and hopefully sort of getting on with life. And that's all that can really be expected for now. I'm no superhero; I'm not doing grand or wonderful things. I'm simply being me, trying to get by, trying to fulfill some expectations from both myself and other people. And I am... okay. Okay is better than horrible. For now, I can live with okay.

Patience. Patience is a virtue for a reason. I must have patience.