I hate eating... I hate trying to be and/or seeming "normal"... I just want to go back to trying to be skinny. I fucking HATE this.

So far I've eaten despite what ED thinks (although sometimes I've delayed my eating by quite awhile, but I've managed to at least eat a bare minimum of what's "necessary"). I just wish this was any easier. Wish I didn't keep going back on my stupid ED Tumblr and seeing other girls in their EDs / going back to their EDs and wanting that same thing. Wish I didn't hate my life. Wish I didn't feel like crap so much more of the time without ED.

I just... hate this shit. I'm sorry, but I do.