101 lbs.

Carnation Instant Breakfast made me have a freakout yesterday (such a "heavy" "caloriffic" snack on top of three square meals) and I was having enough panic symptoms that I needed to take an Ativan. But once I took that, and then my normal clonazepam, I became calm enough to be able to feel and honor my hunger signals later on. So I ate a pack of oriental Mr. Noodles, which might not be the most "healthy", but it was DELICIOUS and so satisfying. Even later that night, close to bedtime, I was thinking about having another pack, but then I saw corn in the back of my cupboard and thought, "Or I could have corn!" And since I knew I would have been equally happy just eating corn, that's what I did. The whole can, to be exact... not that that's a ton of calories, I know. But I can't seem to leave a can of corn unfinished. I love corn. Lol.

As long as I continue to gain, or at least maintain, and I know I'm eating "enough" for at least maintenance, I feel like I'll be okay. But I do think that right now my body is quite happy with gaining weight and probably even wants to gain, so if that's the case I'm not going to try to stop it. I want this to be as intuitive and therefore pain-free as possible. Of course it's not going to be all pain-free (as evidenced by my panic symptoms yesterday), but the more I keep trying, the more I'll accomplish.