I just feel like complete and utter shit tonight.

I also find everything overwhelming. School; the thought of working on the weekend; the thought that soon readings and homework and labs and assignments and tests are all going to be throwing themselves in my face, and I'm going to have to deal with all of them, and get them ALL done, and done WELL, or I won't be able to get good marks in school. And I need to get good marks now if I hope to get admitted to the psychology faculty, because every course I'm doing now is going to count when they tabulate my average and compare it with the other psych major hopefuls. Not that I'm at all convinced that I will actually come out on top in such a comparison, ever.

Actually, right now my self-esteem is fairly low. I feel horribly inadequate -- ridiculously rusty in all sorts of things that for most students at my school are second-nature by now. Working in fast food for almost half a year has really, really dulled my mind... not that it was being truly challenged before that, during all my stupid restriction obsession shit. I was doing more thinking then than I did while working full-time at *****, though. At least before I was spending all day reading and writing to people and exploring lots of information on eating disorders and clinical psychology in general. When I worked at ***** I got too brain-dead and lazy to even do that stuff regularly.

Okay... I don't know what else I was going to write, but whatever it was is gone now. So I'm just going to post this and go. Good night.