Attempting to recover even a tiny bit from ED is like being bounced up and down against your will on a see-saw. You know, like when the other person is heavier than you, and if he or she wants you to stay up in the air they can? And you just have to beg and plead to be allowed down until they give in? But then you try, after a few see-saws, to keep THEM up there. And sometimes you even succeed. And you feel a sort of triumph. I got back at the person who tortured me. The eating disorder that tortured me.

But we continue our see-saw game. Up and down, up and down, up and down. When will it end, and who will be stuck at the top so long that he/she falls off, and one is triumphant? I don't know the answer to either of those questions, and I'm pretty sure it will take me a long time to find out.

I wish this stuff could be fixed quickly. :/