Right now I hate myself, and I hate my life, and I don't know why I bother to continue to live it.
I don't think my therapist is going to be able to get at the root of my issues, because she's just not focused and driven enough. She's content to talk about only what I offer up in a session... and that is NOT the way my first therapist worked. I don't know why the fuck therapists assume that just because you're coming voluntarily you will tell them exactly what you need from them and then expect them to do it. It's the most fucking stupid thing I ever heard of. I mean, you don't go in to your doctor and tell them your diagnosis and what medication they should give you, at what dosage, and for how long, and then use them only to write the script!!! Why the fuck should therapy have to be you coming in and telling them what mode of therapy you want because you want to cover this checklist of issues, and then them following your checklist? THAT'S NOT THE WAY IT FUCKING WORKS. I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THE FUCKING PROFESSIONAL HERE AND I'M SICK OF FEELING LIKE I COULD DO THESE PEOPLE'S JOBS BETTER THAN THEY CAN.
And I feel like if I can't get the therapy I need -- if I can never again find a therapist who is like my first one, who did a very introspective sort of therapy in which she slowly but firmly began to drag my buried emotions to the surface -- I might as well just give up on life and call the whole thing fucking quits. Because NONE of this other shit helps me, and I'm so fucking TIRED of going to therapist after therapist and having NONE of it fucking HELP ME!!!!
What the hell should I do????
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hey. I understand teh whole therapist issue and having to be the one volunteering information/insight when it seems that should be THEIR job. The first therapist I ever went to was like that, and I quit after 4 sessions, I felt ridiculously smarter then she and it was really a waste of time. However, I did find a much much better (in fact, incredible) therapist at a University psych clinic. If you;re not getting anywhere after a few sessions...quit going. AND KEEP LOOKING. I thought I would just give up if I didn't find someone in two tries (it took three) but I am so glad I had the courage to keep looking, because it helped so so much.
Post a Comment