Lost a pound since yesterday. 98.6. BMI: 17.1.

I feel fairly like shit, but am definitely not unwell enough to need the ER / a hospital, so right now I am doing "all right", at least according to my standards. A good friend suggested I should see my GP, but I dunno if I actually will or not. I mean, there's like an 80% chance that my bloodwork will be perfectly fine, and I don't think I could stand to go to my GP, say "Maybe I should get bloodwork", only to have it come back and all be PERFECTLY FUCKING FINE. And the only other thing she could say would be "eat". Which I am clearly NOT going to do. So I hardly see the point, unless it's to probably make me feel bad about myself.

No... chances are I'll either wait till I go into some sort of medical crisis or half-crisis, or only go if someone like the dietician says I should have a checkup and/or bloodwork every x weeks. I do not want to go get this shit of my own volition, because I'm tired of saying I feel like x y or z only to have it completely physically unsubstantiated by medical tests.

In the meantime, I roll along the lazy river of "life". Which happens to be in a separate stream from what most people call "life"; but I really don't care how separate I am right now. In fact, most of the time I'd rather be away from other people than among them and their judgments and their pronouncements and their stares. In my river, at least no one looks at me quizzically or asks me questions I can't answer in a way that would make anybody happy.