102.2. It said 102.0 the first time I weighed, but then I decided to weigh my cat (aka get on the scale with him in my arms), and once I got off and back on, MY weight had changed and gone up .2. Bastard scale!! Lol. [Also, my cat is now 11 lbs... he used to be 10 to 10 and a half. He's a fatty. Ahaha. ]

I have been eating too much at night again... as was a problem before, when I was trying really hard not to b/p. It seems like my only choices at night are either to b/p or to eat way too much according to my own standards. I'm going to have to figure out a way to permanently fix this problem. I tried smoking instead of eating but smoking makes me hungrier... wtaf. Coffee helps too, so maybe I should make sure I have another cup in the evening.

I've been eating a relatively normal-ish breakfast... a bowl of cereal with 1% milk. I've been mixing Nesquik and my All Bran bran flakes cause frankly it makes the bran flakes taste better. But today I upped the proportion of bran flakes to Nesquik (Nesquik has more calories). It was still pretty good. Next I'll probably go down to 1 cup cereal and 3/4ths cup milk instead of what I've BEEN having, which is 1 1/4 cups cereal and 1 cup milk. I've been using my 2% chocolate milk in my coffee (usually about 3-4 tbsp) because the chocolate milk makes it taste way better than regular milk does, and I might as well try to use the chocolate milk before it expires. I bought it to have with meals while I was being "healthy", but now I'm obviously NOT going to have a 190-calorie cup of milk with a meal. So coffee it is.

My "lunch" has usually been a golden delicious apple, but I have none of those left, so we'll see what I have, if anything. Maybe I'll have half a cup of yogurt. It's about 20 cals more but still in the same range.

As for supper... well, I'd allowed myself to have baby carrots and dip (a lot of dip). But that never fills me up and I still seem to eat and purge later on anyway. I might just say fuck it and see what happens. Gotta figure out different things to put in my "routine" when what I usually have isn't available, or working for me. I do at least get my cheque in 2 more days, so if I want to buy more fruit and stuff then I can.

There's one thing I'm glad about for this [...] forum, and it's that I can actually talk about like calories and measurements and weight and stuff and nobody cares. It's forbidden to talk about any sorts of numbers on so many forums, and to be honest it gets really really annoying sometimes. I'm glad there's one place I can come and actually be fully HONEST about what I'm doing, instead of having to sugarcoat or hide things.