I thought I was doing this great thing today when I made myself buy a club sandwich and large carton of chocolate milk, and then over about two hours eat and drink the whole thing. It's true that I did need the calories -- I'd been walking a lot that day, and twice had sat down, completely red in the face, full of sweat, and exhausted to a dangerous point. So I had to have some sort of substantial food -- preferably something I couldn't look up on the Internet later to check calories. I mean, it was fine... or so I thought.

Now, though, I think my intestines are getting back at me for putting such a strange type of food inside it -- a food it hasn't seen for quite awhile. I'm completely bloated and clogged up and heavy-feeling. My stomach is sticking out so far that I swear I almost look pregnant. And, worst of all, this load of water I've been drinking doesn't seem to want to help the food move through me at all.