Day 11

Haven't updated for awhile, for the following reasons:

- Saturday was kind of a let-myself-go day, because I knew I'd be drinking in the night, and McDonald's was too impossible to resist a second time. I mean, I only got a chicken nugget happy meal, with a Diet Coke, but still. Over the course of the night I probably had at least 3/4ths of a flask of vodka, with probably about 4 cans of Diet 7-Up, and I also had one Malted Milk bar and a small portion of another one.
- Sunday morning at about 4 AM, my friends made me go home because one of them was having a panic attack and the other was just plain pissed. I felt so terrible that I got a very strong wish to die, and ended up swallowing pills, throwing up a couple of times, and ending up in the hospital.
- I was at the hospital from about 5:30 AM till about 6 PM. During this time I barely got any sleep, and, because I had not quite a 1/2 (tiny) container of orange juice at around 1, I puked up AGAIN... right in front of the psychiatrists, too. It was disgusting, and I was too nauseous before I got home and took my reflux pill to have anything but water and some unsalted crackers.
- Tonight, though, I ate like the pig I truly am at heart. I had a pretty large bowl of turkey soup, then I had a chicken burger (complete with mayo) and a whole large glass of milk. I am seriously considering making another chicken burger later and having it with another half glass of milk. That shit tasted SO good.
- My cal count probably still isn't that bad, all things considered, but it's definitely not where it ought to be. So tonight I will allow myself the indulgence of that extra chicken burger and milk, and tomorrow I will likely try to begin my restriction again.

I'm afraid to weigh myself tomorrow, though. I am DEFINITELY going to be up a few pounds. :|