How many cals today? I'd say somewhere around 1000. Too much, I know... but I'm too fucking depressed to care. I'm lucky I had the amount of self-control I did today. I wanted to eat just about every piece of junk food / high cal food that existed in my house. I DID resist binging on Mini Croquettes. I DID resist getting a 6-piece nugget meal at McD's instead of a 4-piece. I DID resist getting regular Coke with that instead of diet. I DID resist eating a piece of a swiss chocolate cake so disgustingly high in calories that just eating one TWELFTH can put three or four hundred calories into you. So I didn't totally fail... but I certainly didn't win, either.

I just feel down today. It's not the clinical depression either. Mourning a lost friendship is not clinical depression. But it still really fucking sucks, and I still don't seem to know how to deal with it without comfort food.

Fuck.