This is the story of a girl

Here is the story of my first two days in hospital, as told to a friend of mine over AIM. Screennames and hospital names have been changed to protect privacy.

Xx a friend xX: what exactly happened the night you left? Does everyone know about your ED now?
Niika-gal: well okay
Niika-gal: the night i went, i was having a really bad night
Niika-gal: i was fed up with starving and puking and being depressed and hating my life and no one helping me
Niika-gal: i really honestly didn't care what happened to me
Niika-gal: that's probably the most truly suicidal night i've had
Niika-gal: to make a long story short: parents came in, i hinted, they left
Niika-gal: well, mom came in first. i hinted, she left, then dad came down
Niika-gal: i told him basically that i was going to, after he heckled me. then he left, saying he was calling the cops.
Niika-gal: so after he left i got panicked -- i was NOT going to the hospital without doing something. which is bad i know
Niika-gal: so then i took all my effexor and a few seroquel and a few ativan and a few gravol
Niika-gal: i finished that like 10 or 15 minutes before the police officer even got there
Niika-gal: so she asked me a few questions and i was standing there completely embarrassed that there was this police officer, uniform all pressed and smelling like soap, looking at me sullen and quiet in my pyjamas in my messy room
Niika-gal: but she told me in the end that either i could let her call me an ambulance or she would have to drive me to the hospital
Niika-gal: so i said she could call the ambulance -- i didn't care
Niika-gal: it was the difference between going voluntarily and being forced. and, anyway, i really DIDN'T care.
Niika-gal: so i went in the ambulance to hosp. he was gonna put an IV in me but then he was like, "you can refuse the IV if you want to". of course, who WOULDN'T refuse it after that?
Niika-gal: so they didn't put that in till i got to hospital
Xx a friend xX: allright.
Xx a friend xX: i would have done the same thing
Xx a friend xX: lo
Xx a friend xX: l
Niika-gal: haha
Niika-gal: i was like, "well, if he's not gonna make me, i'm not fuckin takin it"
Niika-gal: :P
Xx a friend xX: haha
Xx a friend xX: yeah
Niika-gal: so i got to the hospital and they put the IV in my arm. i still didn't want that water in my blood, diluting the drug and negating the effects, so i kept it shut unless a nurse was looking directly at the drip
Niika-gal: they put it in my elbow, which made it super easy
Niika-gal: all i had to do was bend my arm
Niika-gal: doing it when the lead is in your wrist is trickier, since ya gotta put your arms under the blankets ("it's so cold in here!" ") and manually pinch it shut
Niika-gal: so yeah
Niika-gal: i did that for awhile.
Niika-gal: barely got any fluids into me, which made me happy
Niika-gal: and then -- get this -- they come with this bottle of charcoal
Niika-gal: with a straw
Xx a friend xX: ugh. i hat ethat.
Niika-gal: and then they stand there trying to get me to drink it
Xx a friend xX: i've had enough experience with that.
Niika-gal: yeah... it looked fucking NASTY
Niika-gal: i was really honestly revolted by the idea of drinking that shit
Niika-gal: and they were like "if you don't drink it we're gonna have to put a tube down your nose and do it that way"
Niika-gal: so i kept like... putting it to my lips but being unwilling to drink it
Niika-gal: after like 5 or 10 minutes of standing there, the nurse says, "i'll give you 15 minutes to work on it" and i was like "okay"
Niika-gal: so she left and I... well, at first i just didn't drink it
Niika-gal: then i got craftier
Niika-gal: see, they have these trays, where they put your food or whatever
Niika-gal: and underneath is a tray you can pull out -- and it's pitch black, and shadowed
Niika-gal: so what i did was i put my thumb on top of the straw a few times and when no one was looking i poured charcoal in the tray
Xx a friend xX: hahaha
Niika-gal: so that when they came back the bottle would be lighter, you know
Xx a friend xX: oh man
Niika-gal: and i accidentally got it on the floor and on my fingers, and i was like... FUCK
Niika-gal: but then when the nurse came by it had been awhile and i had laid the bottle on that tray. so i was like "yeah, i spilled some" as soon as she looked at the floor
Niika-gal: O:-)
Xx a friend xX: wow.
Xx a friend xX: lol
Niika-gal: hahaha
Niika-gal: she believed me too.
Niika-gal: i am a really fucking good liar when i wanna be.
Niika-gal: but anyway
Niika-gal: they didn't keep me for very long at all, after that
Niika-gal: i'd say within a few hours they took theIV out of my arm and sent me in a cab to the mental hospital
Niika-gal: so i spent about the first ten or eleven hours of thursday at methodist, in the holding beds (the short stay unit was full)
Niika-gal: oh, i forgot to mention that someone from psychiatry came down during that stay at the hosp
Niika-gal: asked why i did it, etc. but didn't ask much else, which surprised me...
Niika-gal: so okay.
Niika-gal: so at somewhere around 10:30 the next morning, i have a grand mal seizure.
Niika-gal: i don't remember ANYthing about it
Xx a friend xX: wow.
Niika-gal: which pisses me off to no end
Xx a friend xX: yeah
Niika-gal: but the story went like this: glennis or glennys or however you spell the nurse's name
Niika-gal: came in with my reflux pill
Niika-gal: (i don't remember any of this)
Niika-gal: and apparently i took it and everything -- so clearly i was still hearing and understanding words
Niika-gal: but then suddenly i threw up my hands and tossed the pill away
Niika-gal: the nurse said she thought i was mad or something at first... but then i fell on my side and started seizing
Niika-gal: the seizure lasted for about a minute, so she said
Niika-gal: so they called code 666 on me
Niika-gal: that's the one they use for medical emergency
Niika-gal: apparently a whole lot of doctors were all around me -- i don't remember this either
Niika-gal: they stuck a valium IV in me, then transported me by ambulance back to the general hospital
Niika-gal: all i remember is waking up in the ER and thinking "why am i on the other side of the ER?"
Niika-gal: and someone told me i'd had a seizure, and i was like, "oooookay..."
Niika-gal: it was funny -- i actually had to ask if my time at methodist thursday morning was a dream
Niika-gal: because i couldn't remember
Niika-gal: i had thought it was a bit too clear to be a dream, but i wasn't sure for all that
Xx a friend xX: yeah
Niika-gal: so anyway, they did all these weird random tests on me and shit
Niika-gal: eventually concluding that it was the OD that had caused the seizure (i didn't need a fucking doctor to tell me THAT)
Xx a friend xX: haha
Niika-gal: what was funny was that they asked me this set of questions... you know, like what day is it, where are you, what's the year, etc... and i couldn't remember what month it was at first
Niika-gal: like i seriously thought it was march or april
Niika-gal: haha
Niika-gal: but after they told me it was november i remembered
Xx a friend xX: ah
Xx a friend xX: yeah
Xx a friend xX: that's weird.
Niika-gal: yeah
Niika-gal: i thought so too
Niika-gal: but anyway. i went up to a medical floor for the night, and on friday early afternoon (i think it was early afternoon) they discharged me from the medical hospital and sent me back over to methodist
Niika-gal: i'd been admitted to the short stay unit since thursday but didn't actually get there till friday. haha
Xx a friend xX: hah.
Niika-gal: yeah
Niika-gal: it amused me